To her, it was a little slip, but to me, it was a big mistake.It’s not always that she makes errors that I can profit on. I don’t make this person, particularly within her earshot, but there are times she makes a mistake, and I am constantly on the lookout for those times.
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When it comes to me, I’m constantly making mistakes. I am not sure that I can make just a little slide because mine are much larger. And the problem with this isthe Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage constantly catches them, and at times, I do not understand how she does itshe catches them before I actually do them.She calls it”woman’s intuition,” but I call it”man’s trouble.”Last week, for example, I had an appointment with my eye doctor. I had been to pick up my new glasses, and I was anxious about that. I advised my wife that the physician’s appointment was on Wednesday. She countered that and stated,”No, I feel it’s on Thursday.””It’s my appointment,” I said, both hands on my buttocks,”and I’ll go when I wish to.” I think I heard her mumbling something like,”He’s 13 again.”I got into the eye doctor’s office, walked as I was putting on my mask (I’m not too fond of these masks), walked up to the counter, and signed in. Then I moved to sit and wait to be called.In a few minutes, a nurse came up to me and explained,”Mr. Snyder, exactly what are you doing here now?””I am here to pick up my glasses.””I am sorry, your appointment isn’t until tomorrow.”I looked at her one of my stunned looks and then said,”Could I camp here until tomorrow”I had to go home and tell my wife I was wrong, and she had been right. When I had a nickel for each time I confessed I was wrong, I would be a very wealthy individual.But this week, my wife left her mistake, and I was able to cash in on it.She returned home by shopping at Publix, and I think before thinking, she said as she had been coming to the kitchen,”The Girl Scouts are selling cookies at Publix today.”There are numerous things she says that I cannot hear. I’m not sure if it’s my ears what. I tried to stay silent and calm. I understood if I stirred up any enthusiasm, she’d catch on to what she said . According to her, I’m very limited regarding the cookies I am allowed to eat. Her preference would be that I consume no biscuits while I’ve got breath in my nostrils.I remember when she advised me,”You cannot eat no biscuits!”I smiled because she didn’t understand what she said. Most individuals don’t get that.The next step was to figure out how to leave the home and go to Publix without someone in the house finding out.I did not understand how I would do this. I thought about it and attempted to think of the ideal plan.Then, an opportunity opened up that I could never have anticipated.”I forgot something in Publix,” my wife said,”would you have time to run over to Publix and pick this up for me?”I find it very difficult to subdue hilarious laughter under conditions in this way. I labored hard and solemnly stated,”Oh, my dear. I can go at the moment, and there is no difficulty at all.”Like magic, I vanished from the house and started the car before I got in it and headed for Publix. In the end, when I buy Girl Scout cookies, I’m helping to support some young ladies who need it. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.Walking up to the girls at Publix, I almost forgot what I had come to pick up.I looked at them and said,”I will be back once I go do some shopping.”I am always like my word, and that I came back, and because I couldn’t make up my mind concerning what cookies I wished to purchase, I did the gentlemanly thing and bought one of each cookie they had available. How much it cost has no relativity for my desire for these cookies.”Isn’t that what you wanted me to purchase?”